Bewitched:Darrin or two
by zooman
Summary: My story is about a funny situation that occurs when Samantha is relaxing at home with the Dick Sargent Darrin character, when suddenly the Dick York Darrin character comes walking into the house, just home from work! Sam now realizes she has a big problem, as somehow she's married to two Darrins and never knew it!


BEWITCHED: DARRIN OR TWO- PROLOGUE-Samantha was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner. Dinner tonight, she decided would be macaroni and cheese. She was already busy making a huge pot of it. Tabitha and Adam, her two young children, suddenly burst into the kitchen playing catch with a basketball. Samantha turned to look down at both of them in annoyance. "Kids, not in the house," said Samantha. She quickly ushered both of them out of the kitchen and into the hallways, "go play outside if you have to do that." Suddenly , at that moment Darrin came walking into the house. His tall, lanky frame collapsed with exhaustion onto the couch. His lanky looking face had beads of sweat. "Honey I'm home," he called from the living room. Samantha quickly came out of the kitchen in her white blouse and blue and yellow spotted apron and greeted him. "HI sweethart," she said smiling as Darrin stood up and they hugged and kissed. "How was work today?" she asked, as she undid her apron. Darrin just looked with exhaustion up at the ceiling. His lanky face broke into a grin. "Don't ask." Darrin and Samantha walked into the kitchen with their arms about each other. Tabitha and Adam both went back into the kitchen and greeted them. "Hi kids," said Darrin, bending down to kiss his daughter. "What's for dinner?" he asked his wife. Samantha moved back to the stove and began stirring the huge pot. "Macaroni and cheese," she said smiling. "What happened at work today?" Darrin put his arms around his wife and kissed her neck. "Just the usual, "answered Darrin, "Larry wants me on the Longbow account. Some ad for baby toys." Darrin chuckled a little. "Larry says that if I make this one, I get a partnership sooo." Samantha suddenly broke into a grin. "That's wonderful darling!"

At that moment, Darrin and Samantha and Adam and Tabitha both heard the front door open and slam. All four of them shook with surprise. They all heard footsteps moving through the living room and a briefcase dropping to the floor. "Honey I'm home!" A man's voice called from the other room. Darrin and Samantha both looked at each other for a minute then both of them bolted out of the kitchen and into the living room. The man standing before them was of medium height, rather stocky build, with short black hair and a ruddy face. He looked with surprise at Darrin. "Honey I said I'm home," he repeated. The man shook his head in shock. "Sam who's your friend?" Samantha stood in shock with her mouth open. Darrin took a step towards the man, I'm her husband Darrin Stephens." The man took a step back with a horrified look on his face. His eyes grew wider. "WHAT!" he exclaimed. "I'M HER HUSBAND DARRIN STEPHENS!" The two Darrins just stood quietly for a minute staring in horror at each other. Darrin 1 (the man who had just come into the door) turned his head to look at Samantha while crossing his eyes. Darrin 2 slowly raised his hands to his head. Samantha quickly looked all around the living room. "MOTHER!" she shouted in anger. "MOTHER! MOTHER!" She started moving quickly all over the house. "MOTHER! MOTHER!" She finally sat down on the staircase, and took on a frustrated look. "Oh my stars." she sighed. The two Darrins walked slowly towards her. They both turned to look at each other. "I"M DARRIN STEPHENS!" they both shouted.

ACT ONE-Larry Tate sat in his office talking to his wife. "Yes Louise, "he said while grinning, "yes, I understand, a quart of milk, and a dozen eggs. Righto. See you later." Larry put down the phone. He slowly stood up from his chair and opened up his briefcase. He opened up some drawers and began taking out and stuffing folders into the briefcase, when at that moment the phone rang again. Larry picked up the phone,"Louise I told you I'LL GET THEM... oh...Mr. Longbow...Uh...hahahhahahahhahahahahhahahha...sorry about that," Larry grinned as he set his briefcase. "Tate, I was thinking." Longbow's voice crackled harshly into Larry's ear. "Why don't you and I get together at your house tonight for drinks. We can discuss the account in more detail. I especially want to focus on selling that new Mickey Mouse figure, we're getting into ToysRus soon." Larry's secretary, the pretty leggy blonde came into his office holding a folder. Larry mouthed something hostile to her and waved her off. The woman shrugged her shoulders and walked out. "Well, ah, ok Mr. Longbow whatever you say. But why don't we make it the Stephen's house. I mean since he's the man handling your account, it would be only right to discuss the details with him there." Larry poured himself a cup of coffee with the phone held by his shoulder in his ear. Longbow's voice chuckled. "Sure, sure Tate whatever you say. Shall we make it six o clock then?' Larry sipped his coffee. "Yes fine that will be great. Louise and I will look forwards to seeing you and the mrs." Larry and Mr. Longbow made some idle chitchat about financial details involving the account, then Larry hung up.

Samantha sat uneasily on the couch, in the living room while the two Darrins both walked up and down the living room over and over and over again in shock. Darrin 2, turned to glare at Samantha while pointing his finger at the ceiling;"Sam, of all the dirty rotten tricks Endora has pulled..." He quickly turned away and continued his walking up and down the living room. Darrin 1, then suddenly turned and glared at Samantha while pointing his finger at the ceiling. "Sam, your mother has gone way, way WAY TOO FAR!" he shouted. "Of all the horrible things your mother has done..." he then turned away and continued walking up and down the living room. Samantha just shook her head. She turned to stare at Darrin 1. "I don't know you at all," she said. "I'm sorry but I have no memory of you." She then turned to glance at Darrin 2. Darrin 2 turned to look at her." Your the man I love. My husband." She got up and walked towards Darrin 2. As they began to embrace, Darrin 1 bolted towards them and interrupted the embrace. "What is this!" he exclaimed, almost on the verge of tears. "I'm not letting another man embrace my wife!" "Hey!" Darrin 2 shouted. "THIS IS MY WIFE!" He pointed at Samantha. Darrin 1 took off his tie and dropped with exhaustion down on the couch. He waved his hands. "Oh...ok," he sighed. "Well you can have her on Mondays and Fridays and Sundays, and I'll have her on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, how's that?"

At that moment Endora popped into the living room. She looked a little surprised. "Mother what's going on here?," Samantha asked in anger as she took a step towards Endora. Endora just shook her head. "what are you talking about?" She smiled. "Hello Derjerk." Endora glanced at Darrin 2, "who's your friend?" Darrin 1, angerily stood up and glared at Endora. "Don't play games Endora,"he said while while running his fingers through his hair. "I came home from work this afternoon, Larry just put me on the Tom account...some new soda pop...when I find out that I'm sharing my wife with another man." Endora looked with confusion at Darrin 1. "Excuse me," she smiled, "but do I know you?" Darrin 1 wrinkled his ruddy face into a mean expression. "I FIND OUT THAT SAM IS MARRIED TO TWO DARRIN STEPHENS!" Both Darrins took a step towards Endora. There was a long pause, while Endora just stood there looking confused, then she burst out laughing. She laughed and laughed and laughed! "It's not funny mother," pouted Samantha. "Did you say "I do" twice or something," snickered Endora at Samantha. "Well Samantha I had nothing to do with it." Both Darrins looked in shock at each other. Samantha stared at Endora with her mouth open. "It wasn't you?" she asked mildly. "Nope sorry," answered Endora. "I suggest you look elsewhere. But there's nothing I can do." Both Darrins slowly shook their heads in disgust. "Toodle doo." She laughed while slowly fading away.

The phone rang. "I'll get it," both Darrins said at the same time while going for the phone. Samantha picked it up. "Hello," she said nervously,"oh hi Larry." Both Darrins looked up at the ceiling in horror. "Six o clock? Well...uh...uh...uh...I'll put Darrin on..." Both Darrins moved towards the phone. Darrin 1 pushed Darrin 2 out of the way, then Darrin 2 pushed Darrin 1 out of the way and took the phone, "hi Larry, yes...uh...you want bring Longbow to the house tonight? ...uh...yeah...ok, fine...uh ...yeah. Larry's voice snickered into his ear. "you and Sam just had a fight huh?" Darrin 2 smiled. "Well not exactly..." Larry interrupted. "Well six o clock. Mr. Longbow likes scotch and soda. Righto. Bye." Darrin 2 slowly put down the phone. Samantha was prancing all over the living room waving her hands about in frenzy."Zandals of dry, stars of night, remove whatever spell has given me two Darrins of nigh." Nothing. Samantha jumped up on the couch and raised her fists at the ceiling. "THE MOON OF JUPITER, THE CLOUDS ABOVE, REMOVE WHATEVER SPELL GAVE ME TWO DARRINS AND LEAVE ME MY TRUE LOVE!" Samantha suddenly got a wild electric shock and went flying off the couch. She landed with a scream on her feet on the floor. Both Darrins moved towards her.

Then Dr. Bombay popped into the living room. He was wearing a surgical gown. "Hello Samantha," he smiled and greeted the stunned witch. Samantha's hair was a mess as she shakily walked towards Dr. Bombay. "Endora told me that there was quite a problem going on." He looked with interest at Darrin 1. "Who's your guest?" Darrin 1 shook his head. "This is insane. Mabey I ought to just go back to the office and start over again." Dr. Bombay looked at Darrin 1 then at Samantha. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything too important Dr. Bombay,"said Samantha. Dr. Bombay just laughed. "No, no, no I was just in the middle of a very, VERY important surgery, the patient's only chance of making it was me performing the operation, when I was called here. Nothing important really." Samantha's face took on a worried expression. "Oh my stars. I'm sorry, so sorry, so terribly sorry, really that I interrupted you." She looked down at the floor. "I feel so selfish. So stupid interrupting you like that. Costing a patient like that." Dr. Bombay grinned. "Well I can always call a tv repairman if I have too." He laughed. Samantha looked up at the ceiling and sighed. Then she looked from side to side at both Darrins. "OK here's the problem Dr. Bombay: I was with Darrin in the kitchen cooking dinner, when this other man..." she stared at Darrin 1 and smiled, "hmmmmmmmmm he's kinda cute." Darrin 1 smiled back and got ready to approach her, when Darrin 2 put his hand on Darrin 1's chest. "Well anyways that man came in the door and said that he was also my husband Darrin!" At that moment Darrin 1 took out his wallet and started showing everybody the cards in the small leather object. "My driver's license...Darrin Stephens, my buisness card...Darrin Stephens employed at McMann and Tate, " Darrin 1 smiled grimly as he shoved the wallet back in his pocket. He got ready to approach Samantha. Darrin 2 put his hand on his chest and stopped him again. "Our honeymoon, our first night in this house when I got sick from drinking that wine that had gone sour..." "It was a zombie," interrupted Darrin 2. "Oh yeah, that's right, "Darrin 1 said while slapping his head, it was a zombie..." He looked with anger at Darrin 2. Darrin 1 continued with his story:"And the time we all went on the roller coaster and Tabitha got so scared she almost jumped off..." "She hid behind the popcorn machine at the amusement park when we said we were going on the ride again," interrupted Darrin 2. Darrin 1 nodded and grinned,"yes she hid behind the popcorn machine..." Darrin 1 glared at Darrin 2. He got ready to approach Samantha when Darrin 2 stopped him by putting his hand on his chest. Darrin 1 just sighed. "When does the camera pan on Rod Serling?" Dr. Bombay rested his chin on his fist. He looked with much interest at Darrin 1. "I have no memory of you I'm afraid." Darrin 1 got ready to approach Samantha but Darrin 2 stopped him by putting his hand on his chest. "And the time we stayed at that fancy hotel in Australia when I was sent by Larry on buisness for the Robby account." We stayed at the Callgerry Hotel in Melbourne," said Darrin 2. "Yes," replied Darrin 1, "the Callgerry hote..."he suddenly. looked with anger at Darrin 2. He got ready to approach a very shocked Samantha, but Darrin 2 stopped him by putting his hand on his chest. Both Darrins took a step towards Samantha. "And the time we went boating on Lake Michigan that one weekend," both of them said at the sametime. They both turned to look at each other. Darrin 1 just rolled his eyes. "So what next, I'll find out Sam that you had a child with this man?" At that moment little Adam suddenly burst into the living room, pushing a toy wagon. Darrin 1 suddenly made a quick, shocked glance at Samantha. He then just stood quietly for a minute staring with shock into space. His bottom lip curled over his mouth. He slowly moved his head around and around and around while crossing his eyes. Dr. Bombay nodded. "Ok I have a theory, "he said while walking slowly towards the back of the living room with his arms behind his back. "it's a long shot, but it's the best I could come up with right now." Samantha grinned. "I thought you might," she said. She ran a comb through her hair. "What is it?" Dr. Bombay turned to look at all of them. "Well since I'm going to miss the last half of Our World, my theory is that the doctor was most likely the one who embezzeled from the hospital!" Dr. Bombay burst out laughing. Darrin 2 approached Dr. Bombay in anger but Darrin 1 put his hand on his chest and stopped him. Dr. Bombay raised his hands to his cheeks. "Alright, alright, alright all joking aside. Here's my theory." Dr. Bombay quickly zapped himself into a green, deerstalker cap and coat, and then zapped up a pipe and shoved it into his mouth. His nose slowly took on a hawk shape. Both Darrins looked at each other. "Now," uttered Dr. Bombay while smoking his pipe and talking in a strong british accent, "I believe, Darrin 1, that you actually come from a parallel universe." Darrin 1 slowly shook his head. "Do we need to call Carl Sagen next?" he asked sarcastically. Dr. Bombay took another puff on his pipe. "Just hear me out. Darrin 1, you come from a parallel Earth. Another dimension as it were." Darrin 1's eyes narrowed into slits. "You are Samantha's husband, but in another dimension, in another earth. When you were coming home from work, you accidentally stepped out of your earth and into this one." He took another puff on his pipe. A little blue metal square suddenly appeared in his right hand. He looked down at it and smiled. "Paging Dr. Watson," he chuckled. Samantha looked up at the ceiling in exasperation. Dr. Bombay took another puff on his pipe. "Ok it's like this," he snickered while waving his left hand. A large chalkboard full of complicated mathematical figures, appeared in the living room. Dr. Bombay walked towards the chalkboard. He ran his left hand up and down the board. Samantha, Adam, and the two Darrins all slowly walked towards the board. Darrin 2 pushed the toy wagon out of his way. "now Darrin 1 comes from this earth here,"Dr. Bombay said as he pointed to a part of the board, "and then he slipped out of that universe and into this one here." Dr. Bombay pointed to a figure at the top of the board. "I know it all looks really simple when it's written down like this, but believe me the quantum theory is far far more complicated than that." Dr. Bombay jerked his head at the chalkboard. "Ok I see," muttered Darrin 2, "my long lost twin brother here is from an Earth 2?" "Exactly!" exclaimed Dr. Bombay, "now you know! No witchcraft involved. It was purely a normal everyday occurance of an interdimensional slip from one universe to another." Samantha put her finger to her lip and smiled, "ok then, now that we know what this is. You mean that on this other Earth..." Samantha pointed to the chalkboard,"that Darrin 1 is married to another version of me, and has another version of his daughter Tabitha...some things are the same. But some things different." "Correct," said Dr. Bombay while puffing enthusiastically on his pipe, "but there are differences yes. In that other world Darrin doesn't have a son Adam..." "Ok, ok, ok," interrupted Darrin 1 while waving his hand and staring with surprise at the chalkboard, "I get it, but how do I get back to my own Earth?" "Yes," said Darrin 2, "how does he go back? I mean my bed just fits two people you know?" Samantha just looked at Dr. Bombay. "Well?" she asked while tapping her foot. Dr. Bombay just folded his arms over his chest, and slowly shook his head. "Hmmmmmmmmmmm," he said. "I don't know." Both Darrins opened their mouths in shock. Samantha's eyes widened. "What do you mean you don't know!" she shouted, "this is crazy! I can't go through life with two husbands! That's absurb! I don't even know this man!" She looked at Darrin 1. "I have no memory of a life with him!" "Well there is one thing you could do," snickered Dr. Bombay while taking another puff on his pipe. "What's that?" asked Samantha. Both Darrins moved next to her. Dr. Bombay laughed, "you could all move to a remote part of Africa where it's perfectly normal to have two spouses! Hahahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahhah!" Darrin 1 jumped up and down in frustration. Dr. Bombay raised both his hands to his forehead, "well I'm off now. When I come up with the solution to your problem Darrins I'll let you know. I'll be back in a couple of hours with the solution. Untill then, well...Ava Gardner!" At that moment he disappeared. Darrin 1 looked at the ceiling and put his hand over his eyes. He leaned on the chalkboard. The chalkboard suddenly vanished. Darrin 1 collapsed on his back on the floor. Samantha walked around in a circle nervously. "Oh...my...stars...," she kept muttering over and over. Darrin 2 looked down at the floor. "That's just great! Just great! I must be the only guy on the planet who has to deal with his wife's ex husband while the two of them are still married! Just great," he said quietly. "And Larry's coming over shortly with a new client." Darrin 1 slowly stood up. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...my back," me moaned in some pain. Darrin 2 glared at Darrin 1 and pointed at him. "You stay out of the living room tonight, when Larry and Longbow are here," Darrin 2 said harshly, "you hear me?! The last thing I need is another Darrin Stephens joining in! The Longbow account is the most important of my career! I get this I make partnership at the firm! Official. Stephens, McMann,Tate! I don't want you in the living room tonight!" Darrin 2 was shouting now. Darrin 1 took an angry step towards him. "Hey now!" he shouted,"just a minute fella! Back on my Earth I'm in charge of a very important account myself! A soda pop account! If I'm not there in the office by tomorrow, Larry and I lose the whole thing and I might as well look through the help wanted ads!" Darrin 1 frowned and put his hands on his hips. "NOW! he shouted at Darrin 2,"as far as I'm concerned this is my house as well, and I'm going to stand RIGHT HERE IN MY LIVING ROOM AND WAIT FOR THAT...THAT...," Darrin 1 shook his head,"THAT...THAT...CROSS BETWEEN ALBERT EINSTEIN AND BOZO THE CLOWN TO COME BACK AND FIX THE WHOLE THING!" Dr. Bombay's voice suddenly thundered down on all of them:"I HEARD THAT!" Samantha and the two Darrins all shook with fear.

ACT TWO-Samantha was dancing frantically all over the living room snapping her fingers. She was now wearing a dark blue dress with an image of a large green half moon on the front. "LIES OF VENUS, SHADES OF NEPTUNE, HOTHGOTHS OF MERCURY, RETURN DARRIN 1 TO HIS OWN EARTH WHERE HE BELONGS AND PLEASE HURRY!" Nothing. Samantha put her hands in a martial arts type pose. She floated across the living room and and landed on her feet onto the back wall. She then floated back to the front door again. "SIGNS OF THE HEAVENS," she sung in a very, very , very deep voice while pushing out her right arm. Both Darrins just sat on the couch watching her in shock. A tray containing a bottle of scotch and six glasses was on the tray. Samantha leaped up to the ceiling, and walked along the ceiling. "FROM THE VAST CORNERS OF THE UNIVERSE, TO THE HERE AND NOW, TO THE SURFACE OF THAT VERY DISTANT SPECK OF LIGHT, BY THE EYES OF FROGILITH...RETURN DARRIN 1 TO HIS PLACE, HIS TRUE HOME THIS MINTUITH!" She sung the words incantation in an even deeper voice, while twirling her body all over the ceiling. There was a loud explosion! Pink and blue smoke! Samantha was flung off the ceiling and landed screaming on the dining room table. The two Darrins rushed towards her. She got up off the table. "I'm alright," she whispered. "Wow! I haven't tried that spell since Uncle Arthur and I went on that trip to ancient Rome last summer!" Both Darrins looked at Sam, then looked at each other, then slowly looked up at the ceiling, then shook their heads. The doorbell rang. Samantha rushed towards the door. The two Darrins moved swiftly into the living room. "Ok now remember, "Darrin 2 said to Darrin 1, "your my brother in law Richard just stopping in on a buisness trip. You got that?" Darrin 1 nodded. "Right. Got it. I'm Richard Yron your brother in law..." Darrin 2 glanced sharply at Darrin 1 as Samantha greeted and let in Larry Tate and Louise Tate and Mr. Longbow and his wife, "no, no, no, you're Richard York! Remember! Richard York! Richard York! Richard York! Richard York! How many times do we have to go through this? Over and over and over again! Richard York! Richard York! Richard York! Just remember your name for tonight!Richard York! You have a wife and five kids..." Darrin 1 nodded and interrupted him as they both walked towards the group at the front door, "yes i got it." Darrin 1 sighed in disgust. "Why couldn't I have found myself someplace nicer and more exotic and much more beautiful scenery, with much better gorgeous weather, like the moon!" Darrin 2 slapped his shoulder. Mr. Longbow was about sixty years old with long, gray hair and a beard. He wore a blue tweed suit. His wife was about fifty with short brown hair and glasses. She was wearing a yellow dress and five gold necklaces. She was shaking hands with Samantha as both Darrins approached. Larry and Louise looked perplexed at Darrin 1, as he walked towards them. "Good evening Larry, "greeted Darrin 2 warmly, "Mr. Longbow and Mrs. Longbow," he smiled and shook the hands of the couple. Darrin 1 just stood there looking very uncomfortable. "Larry, Louise, Mr and Mrs. Longbow... this is my brother in law from out of town ...uh...Richard Yom." Darrin 1 looked with anger at Darrin 2. Darrin 2 shook his head with embarrassment, and immediately put his hand on his face. "Well how do you do Richard," Larry said as he shook Darrin 1's hand," pleased to meet you." Darrin 1 then shook Louise's hand. "I'm Larry Tate Darrin's boss at McMann and Tate and this is my wife Louise." The couple smiled at Darrin 1. Darrin 1 turned his head away from them looked into space for a second. "I'm in a parallel world, where my boss, my boss's wife, my wife, my daughter, and everybody else in my life now has no idea who I am, and my wife has a son with another man?, "he whispered to himself nervously, "I better lay off the L.S.D. from now on." He turned his head back to look at Larry and Louise and Mr and Mrs Longbow and noticed all of them watching him with their mouths open. Samantha leaned back against the wall next to the staircase. Darrin 2 raised his eyebrows at Darrin 1. Darrin 1 just chuckled. He moved towards the Longbow couple. "Oh and this is Mr and Mrs. Hall Longbow, "introduced Larry, smiling, but with a slightly perplexed look on his face. Darrin 1 shook hands with the Longbows. The group gathered together in the living room. "Oh help yourselves to scotch,"offered Darrin 2 as he tapped his fingers on the drink tray on the table. Mr. Longbow eagerly picked up the bottle of scotch and picked up one of the glasses and poured himself a drink. "So what buisness are you in Richard?" Larry asked Darrin 1 as Darrin 1 nervously sat down on the couch twiddling his thumbs while looking down at the floor. "I'm a stranger in my own house," he whispered to himself. "I understand that your into selling baby toys Mr. Longbow," said Darrin 2 as he poured himself a glass of scotch. Samantha stood quietly looking at the group with a blustered look on her face. She put her finger to her mouth and pushed her eyebrows together as she looked down at Darrin 1. There was a slight smile and twinkle in her eye as she looked at him. Darrin 1 reached for the scotch bottle and poured himself a glass. "I'm...uh...in the shoe buisness," he answered Larrys's question while gulping down his scotch. Lousie noticed Samantha's odd expression. "Is anything wrong Samantha?" she asked her friend with a smile. Samantha looked at Louise then looked back at Darrin. "Will you excuse me a minute please." She quickly turned around and darted into the study. "Yes, yes, yes I am," Mr. Longbow replied to Darrin 2's question," right now our star product is the eleven inch long Mickey Mouse figure." Mr. Longbow gulped down his drink in one swallow. He quickly reached for the bottle and poured himself another. "Mickey is wearing the same outfit that he wore in Fantasia...the one with the wizard." Darrin 2 chuckled a bit as he poured himself another drink and slowly looked at the door of the study. "Darrin is one of my best employees, in fact he's my main man all around," said Larry to Darrin 1 as he reached for the scotch bottle, "and we play golf every Sunday afternoon." Darrin 1 smiled. "You almost always beat him, I know. I remember the time you beat McMann at a game, when you cheated by moving the ball away from the hole, which McMann didn't notice as he was in the club lounge getting a quick drink at the time, but you cheated him out of two grand that day..." Darrin 1 didn't finish. Larry suddenly looked angry and walked towards Darrin 2 and pulled him away from the group and near the staircase. "Darrin, you promised me that you'd NEVER tell a soul about that! GOOD GOD MAN! THAT WAS PRIVATE SECRET BETWEEN YOU AND ME!" Larry was whispering in rage to Darrin 2. Darrin 2 just shook his head. "What?" Larry leaned closer towards him. "THE GOLF GAME BETWEEN ME AND MCMANN! WHERE I CHEATED HIM! THAT WAS JUST OUR SECRET! YOU PROMISED ME YOU'D NEVER TELL!" Larry whispered in rage while pointing at Darrin 2's chest. "What do you mean Larry?" he whispered back uneasily. "You told your brother in law Richard yo about it!" Darrin 2 suddenly slapped his head with his left hand and turned towards Darrin 1 sitting on the couch. He whispered into Darrin 1's ear," Darrin, that golf game cheating tournament was a deep dark secret between just Larry and I. Apparently there's quite alot of differences in your Earth timeline and mine." Darrin 1 rose steadily to his feet. He put his glass down on the table and looked squarely at Darrin 2. "Ok I didn't know. On my Earth, Larry brags about that to everybody." "Well things are different here," Darrin 2 whispered back. "Just keep it up. By tomorrow I'll be standing in unemployment."

Darrin 2 bolted for the study. He whipped open the door and saw Samantha sitting crosslegged levitated in the air while holding and paging through this huge, green, leather bound book with the title: THE COMPLETE BOOK OF SPELLS. Darrin 2 slammed the door shut behind him. "Sam this is desperate," he said to his wife while nervously pacing all about the room, "Darrin 1 is about to blow everything! You have to do something and now!" Suddenly from out of the living room they heard the sounds of angry shouting. Darrin 2 ran out of the study. "There's nothing in here about alternate earth slips," moaned Samantha in frustration. "I'll keep trying..."

"That is it!" Larry was shouting at Darrin 1. "THAT WAS ALSO A DEEP DARK SECRET BETWEEN DARRIN AND ME!" As soon as Larry saw Darrin 2 come running back into the living room, Larry turned to face him with a really, really mad look on his face. He gently pushed Darrin 2 towards the staircase away from the startled group standing around in the living room. "NOW YOU REALLY DID IT!" Larry glared at Darrin 2. "What now Larry?"asked Darrin 2. "The time that Louise and I were planning to adopt a sister for our son, but we changed our minds at the last minute! I never told ANYONE about that! Anyone!" Larry whispered to Darrin 2 in rage. "That was just another of our deep dark secrets!" Larry shook his head. "What is this?! Is your brother in law also your shrink or something?!" Darrin 2 moved towards Darrin 1 and in frustration took him aside. "Hey Darrin, that adoption story, in this Earth, is also a deep dark secret between Larry and me!" Darrin 2 whispered in anger at Darrin 1 who was turning beet red in the face. "I'm sorry Darrin. But back on my Earth everybody knows that story. It's not deep dark secret in my universe..." Darrin 2 tapped him on the shoulder, "well just keep quiet from now on! Just keep quiet! JUST KEEP ALL THE SECRET OF THE UNIVERSE TO YOURSELF!"

At that moment there was a loud explosion of red smoke coming from the study! The door to the study flew across the living room and narrowly missed hitting anyone as it landed on the floor behind the couch! Samantha went flying out of the study and landed on the front of her body on the living room floor. She quickly stood up. The entire living room filled with red smoke. "Somebody call the fire department!" shouted Mr. Longbow coughing. In a minute the smoke cleared. "WHAT IN TARNATION WAS THAT!" shouted Mr. Longbow as he cleared away red smoke waving his arms. Darrin 1 leaned in against the tv set coughing into a hankerchief. Larry coughed slightly and took Darrin 2 aside. "BEFORE I FIND OUT WHAT THIS LATEST OF YOUR STUNTS IS ABOUT, WHY, OH WHY DID YOU ALSO TELL YOUR BROTHER IN LAW ABOUT THE TIME I STOLE THE KARLON ACCOUNT FROM THAT OTHER AD AGENCY!" Larry whispered angerily. "THAT WAS DEEP DARK SECRET FIFTY SEVEN YOU TOLD?! I HAD HEARD THAT THE RILEY AGENCY WAS TAKING ON KARLON'S ACCOUNT, SO I BRIBED KARLON 500 DOLLARS TO COME OVER TO US! IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE REST OF THE DETAILS?" Darrin 2 shook his head in disbelief as the rest of the red smoke cleared. "You bribed him 500 to come over to our agency? That's how you did it? I always wondered how you stole the account, you never told me how..." "Forget it!" interrupted Larry, whispering in rage, "YOUR FIRED! YOU UNDERSTAND! TELLING DEEP DARK SECRETS TO YOUR BROTHER IN LAW ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE IS ONE THING, BUT TELLING COMPANY SECRETS IS ANOTHER! YOU ARE THROUGH!" Darrin 2 rushed over to Darrin 1, "YOU ALSO TOLD HIM ABOUT THE KARLON ACCOUNT?! THE TIME HE BRIBED KARLON?!" Darrin 2 was screaming at Darrin 1. "I'm sorry," whimpered Darrin 1, "On my Earth everybody knows that too. It's no secret on my Earth." Darrin 2 just sighed. Mr. Longbow approached Larry in shock and frustration. "You occasionally bribe clients to join McMann and Tate huh?" he said to Larry in disgust, "so where's my 500?!" Larry just waved his arms up and down. "I can explain Mr. Longbow." Larry turned to both Samantha and Darrin 2. "But first i want an explaination for this exploding parlour trick we all just witnessed." Darrin 2 and Samantha just looked ate each other as both fumbled for an explaination. "Well we're waiting!" said Lousie while folding her arms over her chest in anger. Darrin 2 thought a minute then, Darrin 1 slowly walked towards Larry. "Ok Let me explain," he said while looking like he was trying to think of a good story. "Be creative," added Mr. Longbow sarcastically. Larry then slapped his shoulder. Darrin 1 just mumbled uneasily. "Uh...uh...ok, uh,...ok here it is. Uhhhhhhhhh...well...Darrin had an idea for the commercial on tv to open with an explosion of red smoke...and uh the slogan reads:"Longbow...uh...any child will get a bang out of them! Hahahhahahhahahhahahhah!" Darrin 2 then joined in. "Yes think of it! The commercial begins in a toy store, there's an explosion...and the slogan:"Longbow toys, any child will get a bang out of them." Mr. Longbow went deep into thought. Darrin 1 burst into a huge grin. "just think," he said, "it will be a commercial which will immediately capture everybody's attention. An explosion. Longbow toys, your child will get a bang out of them." Samantha laughed lightly. Mr. Longbow was still lost in thought. Lousie and Mrs. Longbow just stood with their mouths open. Larry kicked the coffee table and shook his head. He looked mad. He began shouting."That is the WORST, STUPIDEST, UNBELIVEABLE..." He was interrupted by Mr. Longbow. "I like it." Larry then said,while smiling and shrugging his shoulders, "yes! Yes ! YES! Yes! That's what I mean ! IT"S THE WORST, STUPIDEST, UNBELIVEABLE STUNT TO PULL OFF IN YOUR HOME...but uh...uhhhhhhhh... the BEST, GREATEST IDEA EVER!" Larry then moved to Darrin 2 and gripped his shoulders tightly while chuckling happily. Darrin 2 grinned back. "Its a great idea," congratulated Mr. Longbow as he smiled at Darrin 2. "Destructive. Almost killed us. Literally. But a great ad slogan neverthless." "My husband can really come up with them when he puts his mind to it, "said Samantha grinning as well while hugging Darrin 2. Darrin 2 and Darrin 1 both grinned. "You son of a gun!" exclaimed Larry. Samantha walked to the liquor cabinet. "Another round of scotch," she said, "while she opened the doors to the cabinet..."

ACT THREE-Twenty minutes later, the whole group stood around the open front door-the two Darrins and Samantha shaking hands with the Longbows and smiling. Larry and Louise saying goodnight to the Darrins and Samantha, and Larry saying:"You son of a gun" to Darrin 2 over and over again. Larry and Louise and the Longbows then shut the front door and left the house. Samantha and the two Darrins walked back into the living room. "I owe you one buddy," said Darrin 2 to Darrin 1 happily. Darrin 1 just turned and smiled back at Darrin 2. "Enjoy your new partnership," replied Darrin 1. It was almost six thirty in the evening. At that moment, Dr. Bombay reappered which startled both Darrins. "Did you ever hear of the doorbell?" asked Darrin 2 sarcastically. "Sorry," replied Dr. Bombay. He was wearing a white robe covered in tiny red valentines. "I was just on date with a gorgeous brunette, when I suddenly thought of a way to send Darrin 1 home. " Both Darinns grinned at him. "Well what?" asked Samantha. "Yeah you better tell us while we still have a house left," said Darrin 1. Dr. Bombay thought a second then said, "ok here it is. This is the spell I thought up while my lips were pressed against Mary Ann's." Both Darrins just looked at each other. Dr. Bombay waved his arms slowly. "ABRACADABRA!" he shouted, and at that moment Darrin 1 just vanished! Both Darrin 2 and Samantha hugged each other happily. Then Samantha turned to look with a bit of frustration at Dr. Bombay. "All it was was Abracadabra?" she said. "That was it," said Dr. Bombay simply. "In what secret, ancient, long lost, forgotten, undiscovered warlock bible did you learn that one?" asked Samantha. Dr. Bombay ran his finger over his moustache. "None. I learned it from the instruction manuel of my seven year old granddaughter's magic kit!" He laughed. Both Darrin and Samantha just looked at each other. "Well I'm off...cherry oh!" With that he just vanished. Samantha and Darrin just hugged and kissed. "Thank god this is all over, "said Darrin 2 kissing her on the lips, "I'd to be in competition with your own husband." They both laughed and kissed. Then they both slowly walked up the staircase arm in arm.

EPILOGUE-Darrin 1 suddenly found himself standing in his driveway. It was pitch dark outside. He walked up to his house and opened the front door. Samantha was sitting on the couch in the living room reading a story to Tabitha. She looked up and smiled at Darrin 1. "Hi darling, 'she said as they both bugged and kissed. "What kept you so late?" "Oh Sam." said Darrin 1 as he hugged Samantha, "it's been one-of-those-days. Man have I got a story for you." The both of them walked to the dining room. "You can tell me over dinner," said Samantha as they walked towards the dinner table. Tabitha scampered along behind them.


End file.
